Croissant-shaped night

It seems like a good ten minutes or so before I realize I'm actually awake, and have been for about 10 minutes or so. Its cold out, but I'm hot. There's no wind per se, but my army cot sits on a balcony that overlooks the city; its naturally a bit breezy. Today was downright chilly--I even wore a sweater. Lying there contemplating the awkward struggle it would be to strip off my clothes in this mummy bag, I realize the moon forms a perfect crescent shape tonight.

Do Muslims ever look up at the moon during nights like this and think, 'whoa, its a perfect crescent--Allah's totally saying something to me.' Perhaps some do. And perhaps some skeptical Muslim friend reminds them, 'dude, it happens every month, get over it.'

There must be a Muslim equivalent of the Christian youth pastor, no? I can just imagine him and his wife at Mosques all across the Muslim world timing their youth events so they coincide with the crescent moon. I remember those church events where they told us overly coincidental sermon-stories and then coaxed us into filling out abstinence pledge cards. Always the acoustic guitar near the end. Always the overly smiley wife gently singing. I can just imagine it in the Muslim context: "kids, look -- the crescent moon! -- boy oh boy, what are the odds of that?... Praise be to Allah... now kids, look in your hearts and think about what He's trying to tell you tonight with this wondrous sign..."

Anyways, finally I think to check my watch. Its only 2AM. I'm annoyed because I felt like I'd be sleeping a lot longer. I was dreaming I owned a factory, in fact. It was hellish, and now that I'm thinking about it, I want to know why. Do I have an aversion to repetitive labour? Why is owning a factory a literal nightmare for me? As I lie here contemplating this newly significant life question my ears start to desensitize to the cacophony surrounding me. I'm interrupted by Haiti.

Every animal has its say at night; there's no humans around to shush them. The dogs clearly dominate the conversation, but cats, donkey, sheep, birds, and insects all get their chances. It seems to me mostly idle chat, but of course, I don't speak Creole and my French is basic. But, let's assume their criticizing the aid effort like everyone else.

Then, out of the darkness calls the most obnoxious animal of all in God's great arsenal. No, not the mighty mosquito (he's in a category unto himself). I speak of The Rooster. The rooster, I have come to learn, is quite social animal. He's also a neanderthal. When he's not annoying all the hens by trying to repeatedly mount them, he's shouting out to whomever will listen and retort with comments equally banal. Essentially, I have learned, the rooster is not that different than most guys I went to high-school with.

As such, at the top of his lungs, the rooster chimes in with this witty aside:
COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo! (Editors note: It sounds nothing like that. Phonetically its something like, "EEEEaaaEEEEAaaaaEOOROEEAARROOOOOOEAAAAAARRRROOORORROOOOORRRRRrrrrrrrrr")

Then there's absolute silence for all of 3 seconds, as though the rooster had just farted and all the other animals were waiting for an apology.

Then from another part of the neighborhood, another rooster:
COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo!

Then from another part of the city:
COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo!

And on we go until its our neighbor's mouth-breathing bird again:
COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooo!

If I could request a miracle at this moment it wouldn't be world peace or relief for Haiti, it'd be 5 minutes with the ability to speak roosterese. Then I'd either swear at them every dirty word in the book, OR-- I'd break out my acoustic guitar, point out that the moon was the perfect shape of a crescent, and do those hens a big favour.